Bride Prices

I was asked to go with some friends to an Introduction today, but I turned them down because right now that is one cultural tradition I am super upset with. Introductions is sort of the day you through an engagement party. Crowds come and sit on either the brides side or the grooms and there is lots of food, but also lots of discussion. You see, they need to arrange an "Appreciation" for the bride. It could be 8 cows, some money, a portion of crops, etc. I don't know why they call it appreciation when it really is a dowry... a bride price.

The reason why I don't want to go today is because last night my guard came to work. I went out to greet him and asked how he was. He said "not good!" and Ugandans at least usually say "fair". I thought maybe he needed the night off for his health, but no, he said "Don't worry, I am a man, I can work." Then he looked up, with tears in his eyes, and said that his in-laws had taken his wife back because he hadn't fully paid the bride price yet. He still owes four cows. O was I livid. Especially because I know the in-laws are a church pastor and a leader of the women's district meetings. How absolutely cruel and ungodly!! All for an unpaid "Appreciation". And his baby son is now gone too.

When I got home later in the evening, the guard had really pulled himself back together and had completely given it to God. He said even if someone gave him four cows tonight he would not pay it because what the in-laws are doing is wrong. He totally trusts the Lord and will wait for his bride to return. He said that he vowed before God and His church that this woman would forever be the woman God has given him, until death do them part, so he will continue to pray, wait, and act wisely.

But I just can't go to an Introduction today... I wouldn't see the fun in any of it.

..... Then a few hours later I hear a story from my helper. She is my guard's sister. She came and said that the wife was very depressed and was thinking of suicide, because the husband has not been speaking kindly to her. The family took her away to help save her emotionally and hopefully to make the man come back to his senses.

Of course, there are two sides to every story.