Find me in the River

The past week has been kind of tough for me.  I don't often like to admit defeat, but I'm weak right now.  My body is tired and struggling with some sort of stomach bug.  For two weeks I haven't been able to go to church.  The first Sunday I attended worship only, but then started feeling really nauseous so I quickly biked home, but then ended up sleeping for the next two hours.  This past Sunday, I was ready to go to church when stomach pains started... I ended up throwing up and having tight abdomen pains off and on throughout the day.  Last week I tried some antibiotics, but it was a no go and made me even more nauseous.  Somehow, by the strength of God I was able to do a two day training out in Pingere, Serere - a training on Evangelism Explosion, but I also felt like a horrible guest - I hardly ate the food they prepared for me and I chose not to sleep in the village at night, but traveled the one hour journey back to my own bed each day. 

Since I've been home too much, so many things go through my head or start to get me down.  I'm trying to let go of the fact that I don't have a laptop anymore, and I'm thankful that I have a tiny netbook that can keep me going.  I miss my Indian friends who moved down country.  I love training in the villages, but I'm having a hard time finding my place in Soroti town at the moment.  What I mean is... I want to be a part of more ministry right where I'm at - in the schools, or the prison, etc, but I just don't see God's open door yet.  And now, for some reason, my power has been cut off for two days.  My up-to-date bill is somehow in arrears, so Umeme disconnected me.  After many phone calls and showing proof in the office that my bills are paid, there is still no sign of them coming to turn my electricity back on.  It makes my house quiet - with no music, and believe it or not.. no fan.  That's when I know I'm sick.  I'm HOT right now.

"Find me in the River" is such a beautiful song by Delirious... and right now, very fitting for me.  It's my prayer that I can just wait upon God, knowing that He will fill me up and restore me once more.

Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if You please

We've longed to see the roses
But never felt the thorns
And worn our pretty crowns
But never paid the price

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees
With my soul laid bare

Even though You're gone
And I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river
I'm waiting here

Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if You please

We didn't count on suffering
We didn't count on pain
But if there are blessings in the valley
Then in the river I will wait

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees
With my soul laid bare

Even though You're gone
And I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river
I'm waiting here
I'm waiting here

Waiting here for You
I'll wait here for You
I'll wait here for You