Blood Clot + Anxiety (must) = Trusting God

 

It's Fresher Week at Gulu University, and that means that our church is actively involved in campus activities. It's important for us to welcome the newbies to town and make sure they know they are loved and invited to University Community Church. 

Getting ready for movie night at one of the hostels.

Watching "Freshman Year".

After the movie, a brief message was shared and the youth prepared for another day of life on campus.

But for me, the end of the night meant something else. I had been sitting at the back of the crowd and when I stood up, there was immediate pain in my heel. I limped my way back to the car. A few youth noticed and asked me what was wrong, and I said I wasn't sure. I hadn't tripped in a pothole or over danced to strain a muscle.

Just before bed, Moses asked me, "Do you still take your blood thinners?" And I responded, "yes, I do." Completely random, but it got my mind thinking. 

In the middle of the night I googled if you can get blood clots in your foot, and yes you can. One clue was, you don't feel it while lying down but extremely painful while standing up. By morning I was a mess. The hot water tank wasn't working and my anxiety was so high I was bawling taking a cold shower. Moses quickly came to find out what was wrong and I told him to take me to the clinic. After six hours, and way to many attempts to get bloodwork done, a D-Dimer and doppler scan confirmed a blood clot in my foot.

Now, for many people, this seems simple. Increase the blood thinners and it should go away. But I have 2017 in my history and mind. How quickly the pain went from the legs to the lungs. I don't want this clot to dislodge and travel. Tingling = nerves. Sitting too long = anxiety. A Charlie horse - a racing mind.

The doctors have me on a blood thinner injection every 12 hours. I asked the nurse to teach me how so that I don't have to go to the clinic every 12 hours. I will go on Saturday for more bloodwork. 

Today, I feel somehow fine. The pain has decreased and my mind is also fairly calm. But being alone is not good. I'm so grateful for Moses. He is caring, supportive, and a great sidekick. 

I'm asking for your prayers though!! The journey is not over. Please pray that the blood clot would just disintegrate without any complications. Pray that we will have wisdom to know the best treatment options and that my body will be protected. And, above all, I want to experience peace. PTSD is hard and I do want to trust God through this whole journey. He's got me.