V.D.'s are one of my hardest cultural moments. 41% of secondary schools have boarding programs, so that means hundreds of thousands of our children are away from home for many months of the year.
As parents we struggle to get everything on the requirements list - books, mosquito nets, blankets, bathing soap, uniform, pens, medical clearance and more (It's a one page list). But then there is also the child's own personal "requirement" list, which includes sugar, milk powder, bathing soap, personal hygiene items, crisps and biscuits, juice and milk boxes, cornflakes, socks and shoes, perfumes and deodorants, nail clippers, smearing oil, and more. Every parents dreads the first day of school because it is so expensive. Plus, the children need pocket money so they can buy whatever else is needed - pencils, medical treatment, a hair cut (since their heads usually have to be shaved), etc.
Secondary students have 3 terms. Each term requires school fees to be paid, plus the requirements. And then, in that term there is usually one parent/teacher meeting day, one proper visitation day, and one sports or prayer day when parents/friends are allowed to come and visit. Most schools will not allow even the parents to enter the school premises outside of the those 3 times. It breaks my heart. I want to hear from the girls and check in on the more often. It's like a locked prison to me. Students often say that the roots are difficult but the fruit is good.
When I was in high school, I remember walking to town on my lunch hour and buying a snack or a CD, or just roaming. Here, the children may never leave the school gates. Unless a parent has been given special permission from the head teacher. So, when it is visitation day, we as parents try our best to make sure we spend a few precious hours with our beloved children.
Parents flood the gates with arms fully loaded with packages. Home-cooked meals (usually pilau and chicken soup), or KFC. Students smile with gladness because they are tired of the daily cornmeal posho and brown beans. More cases of juice, milk, even water are carted inside the compound. Students are excited that we have come from far and white. It's a crazy sea of people... finding a student is not always easy. Sometimes there is a P.A. system and an announcement is made for where a child and parents should find each other. Other times you ask students in their same level. Or maybe in their classroom block.
The time is precious. But often the conversations start the same way. Robotic even. How are you? How is school? Are you doing well? You could be doing better. God created you to be the head and not the tale. Those are the statements I often hear around the campus. Our girls want different questions, because we know they are trying their best. So we ask - How is your heart? What has God taught you this term? Do you have good friends? Are you feeling well? What's your apples and onions moments?
After just a few hours at school, since the gates close at 5, parents make their way back to their vehicles, hoping that their children are happy and healthy. And you begin the long parade of cars leaving the school parking lot. And my heart breaks. We can't communicate via phone. I can't check in on their spiritual lives. I can't encourage them when their down or rejoice with them when they are up.
Study well, dear children. God holds your future.
